Saturday, September 03, 2005

does it get easier?

Not for a long time I know, but I hope someday it will be easier.
I'm really struggling with what I should be doing with myself. I feel like I should be doing something, yet there is nothing I can do. Last week the drs took away our last thread of hope when they said it was no use to continue Chemo on Justin. Although we knew the Cancer had won, we at least thought we could delay the inevitable a few months with treatment. Those hopes were dashed and it was a hard reality to accept.
Justin is my stepson, but I don't think any different of him than I do of my two children. Paul and I married when Justin was 4 years old. Not many people have memories at a younger age than 4 so Justin does not remember a time when I wasn't his step mom. Its all he's ever known.
Last night I tried to scrap. I really would like to get my feelings down right now, but all mojo has left. Scrapping is my therapy, my release of emotion. Good or bad, Im scrapping my feelings.


On another note Im so proud of my scraper friends for how they open their hearts to the Katrina victims. The gals in the Pub are collecting money for one of the victims.
Jill at Down Memory Lane is selling packets of scrap supplies and donating 60% to the victims-so cool. Check it out if you can help
She's put together some great packets.


Rosy said...

Susan, I'm so sorry. I'll pray for you and Justin and your family. I hope your trip out there is a blessing to you all.

Sam said...

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Be strong.

Sophia said...

This is my first visit to your blog and I feel that I already know you. I'm so sorry to hear about Justin. What a wonderful love you've expressed for him. My step-father was my "Dad". I relate to those feelings. Your family will be in my prayers. I hope that you will be able to feel peace with your time together. {{big big hugs}}