Wednesday, September 21, 2005

We're home

It's over. We spent four precious & painful days with Justin. We held his hand while he passed away. I am so very sad, yet oddly feel calm and at peace. Justin was in such pain these past several weeks and I prayed at every movement of his chest that it would be his last breath.
I prayed for him to let go. I told him it was okay to go, don't be afraid. He'd fought as long and as hard as any human could have.
We received two blessings with all the sadness of Justins passing.

1)Paul reunited with 3 of his 4 brothers. They have vowed to keep their new found relationship going. Their presence at the funeral was such a blessing to Paul and myself... I took this photo of them outside the funeral home the day after we buried Justin. They have formed a much stronger relationship through this than they have ever had before. I know that Paul now knows that he has brothers that love and care about him.

2) my own Son Nick reunited with the family and was there to say goodbye to his stepbrother.. My heart almost burst in hugging him at the airport for the first time in close to two years. We will move slowly to rebuild our relationship. I will not risk it again.


Now that we are home we feel so calm. The waiting and worry is passed. There is obviously a deep sadness but along with that is a feeling of comfort that Justin is at peace and we are surrounded with people that love us.

2 comments:

Just call me T said...

I do not know you and just happen to pass by your blog. In tears, I feel your loss and I wish you and your family the best.
It is a sad day to lose anyone, be that a s loved one or stranger. The loss of a beautiful soul is a loss to us all. I do understand you praying for his last breath so he may suffer no more. I am not what anyone would call a very religious person but until that last breath came he was meant to be here. I can feel that he was loved and I am sure that he knew it. What better way to leave this world than knowing how much you meant to those around you...

Look up and smile knowing he is smiling back at you.

Best wishes,
Soft love
T

nicole said...

I can only offer my tears. I'm so sorry.