Saturday, December 31, 2005

goodbye 2005

I've been putting this off all day long. Its now 5pm so if Im going to have a New Years eve post I'd better get it done. I started by reviewing some of my posts from July when I started this blog, to now. What an amazing tool this blog is. I love that I could go back in time, click on a date and see where my head was at. I see that July 26th I was making a list of things I love, August 3rd was not a good day for me emotionaly, feeling a little better by the 9th, celebrating on the 24th, numb by Sept 1st.
So, as I said in my post yesterday Im saying goodbye to those we lost in 2005. I really don't want this to be a sad post. It is after all, New Years Eve but I do need to acknowledge loosing Justin to Colon Cancer at 25 years old, on Sept 16th 2005.
He grew up to be an awesome young man. He loved his family with his whole heart. He was a great big brother a great son, wonderful husband and father. He was the clown of all the kids. He always had a funny story.
We always laugh at the fact that he was such a skinny little knocked kneed kid. His shoulder bones would stick out in back and he could flap them like wings... He pretend like he was a butterfly and run up and down the hall.
Or he and Nick would gather up all the loose change they could find and walk up to the store and buy a half a gallon of ice cream. They'd sit outside and eat it until they were so full they couldn't eat any more. They then took some firecrackers and stuck it in the carton of ice cream and lit them -poof! ice cream all over the place... oh joy! fun times :-) a million fun stories.
He always had one. I cant wait to see him again cause I know he's probably got some good ones saved up to tell me that he didn't want to get in trouble for.
This is Justin and Natalie taken inside the Olive Garden in March 2004.
I used this picture because at this time we didn't know the extent of his cancer. It was when he returned home from this visit that he finally went to the Doctor and all of our lives changed forever.
So tomorrow we're going to start a brand new year, but its going to be a year without you in it Justin. We wont forget you though. You'll live on in your beautiful daughter and in the hearts of your family. I love you and I miss you Justin. Save those stories for me cause I know you've got some good ones and I want to hear them all. You won't get in trouble, I promise :-)

Happy New Year!


maria said...

I'm here reading your entry and tears are coming out of my eyes. I too lost a young brother to cancer. My little brother had a brain tumor at the young age of 6 years old, I was 12. I know I will see him again some day, but the memory of him is still a part of me. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure your brother will forever live in your heart. What a nice picture of him you've chosen. So sad he had to go so young. I'm sending a prayer for you and your family for many, many blessings in this new year. I was also checking on some of your archives, and found your first post: "I'll be yelling H*E*L*L*O! and listening for the echo." You put a smile on my face with that because that's exactly how I felt when I started mine (specially since at the beginning mine wasn't "public", it took some convincing to get my hubby to agree with me about this blog idea.). Anyway, sorry about all the rambling here, and have a great New Year!!!!

Mo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mo said...

I made a typo and couldn't figure out how to fix it. Sorry Susan!

My heart goes out to you! 2005 was definitely a difficult year for you. (((HUS))) to you!

I love that you chose this picture of Justin. May you always remember him this way!

Love to you!

Anonymous said...

Susan, I love this picture of Justin. I still ache when I think of your loss and what you've been thru in the last year. I pray for your healing and that of your family. May all you feel is Justin's love now.

Wishing you the very best in 2006

beverly said...

Susan that is an amazing tribute. Your are a great woman and strong. Thank you for sharing about him.