Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I have a friend....

My blog turned 2 years old the other day.
I can’t believe I’ve kept it going this long. I never keep anything going that long.
I have wondered why I do it, what is it for, who is it for?

It’s for me.

It must be, because you cant keep doing something for two years for someone else.
Maybe a year at best, but not for two years.
I know that lots of people say they blog because it’s a good place to share what’s happening in their lives with out of town family…not me.
I’ve never shared my blog with my family. The reason?
This is where I get to vent, and sometimes that includes them.

And today I have a vent.
And I’m afraid it’s a long vent so hang in there if you dare....

Lets say I have a friend.
And my friend has a brother.
Her brother has two daughters. We’ll call them daughters’ number 1 & 2
He is divorced from their mother and remarried a woman who had two daughters.
We’ll call them daughters’ number 3 & 4.
You still with me?

Daughter numbers 1 & 2 announced they were pregnant this year.
Daughter number 1 got married in March…then got pregnant almost immediately thereafter.
Daughter number 2 just got pregnant, not yet married.

Daughter number 1 had a wedding shower in March, which my friend went to, and then she had a wedding a week after, which my friend went to.
My friend brought lovely gifts to both events….
Unfortunately 5 months later, she has still not received a thank you card for either gift given to daughter #1.
Nor did she receive a thank you when she saw daughter number 1 at a wedding shower thrown for daughter #3 a few weeks ago.

Daughter # 3 is getting married in August. My friend received a thank you card within a week after her wedding shower.

So then daughter # 2 had a baby shower.
My friend did not attend because she was on vacation.
She did not send a shower gift because the shower invitation arrived after she had already left for her vacation…they were mailed only a week before the shower…
My friend has not yet decided if she will mail a shower gift to daughter #2 now that she is home from vacation.

Yesterday in the mail another shower invitation arrives for daughter number 1…this time a baby shower that will be held in September AND it is a potluck shower.
The shower invitation requests that my friend bring a dessert to the baby shower. To add insult to injury, the date of the baby shower happens to fall right on my friends wedding anniversary.

Not only am I (oops) is my friend upset about buying daughter #1 a third gift within 8 months, and she still has not received a thank you for the previous two gifts, but she’s asked to attend another function AND to bring a DESSERT!
Isn’t a cake usually the main part of a baby shower?
So, what is your advice for my friend?
Should she just suck it up, buy a cake and a gift and smile … keep the peace in the family?
Or should she go all out, show up with a baby shower cake (to make it known this should have been provided by the hostess)…and another gift ?
Or should my friend call her SIL and brother and ask them if they’ve lost their freakin' minds????

eta: I just wanted to add that although I do understand that people dont always send thank you's for birthday gifts, sending them out for wedding and shower gifts is a must.
There is no excuse for not doing it.


Mellie said...

ohhhh Susan...that is a crazy busy and costly family your "friend" has!

ok...I have no advice...but I will saw this...I sometimes forget to send thank you notes even though I am VERY thankful...I didn't get thankyou notes done for Drewie's birthday party yet....I was mid she means well and just has not done them? I know these are huge events and should require a thank you note...I am not saying she is right...but...because I have been so slow on mine at times...I am sure she feels bad she has not done them also....maybe?? I know I would!

e said...

well, it's pretty obvious what my answer would be! thank you cards are a must in my family and according to my grandma not getting one is grounds for dismissal. LOL

that being said, i don't have kids and my nieces and nephews aren't old enough for me to experience this yet and everyone doesn't think the way that i do. so i don't have any advice as to what YOU should do, but just make sure you're comfortable with your decision either way.

Denise Gormish said...

What a mess!!! I know people are becoming less and less respectful about sending Thank You's. So, it may not be intentional - just the state of our society. It's pretty sad, though. There's definately some issues there are I would hope your "friend" could talk to the person whom she is angry. It may not solve anything but a civil conversation where your friend could discuss her concerns would clean things and it should make your friend feel better.

Steph said...

Unfortunately, I think it's a sign of the times. I can't tell you how many times we don't get thank you notes for birthday gifts or other things. I also think that it may not be intentional at all. I really agree with what Mellie said - it doesn't mean that not sending them was not right, but sometimes things come up and get in the way.


creasa said...

No idea, but good luck to you. I love your aprons on Etsy! They are adorable!

Reen said...

I think your "friend" could politely bow out of this one, since there is a conflict with the dates and impending celebrations. I think a small token gift is ok to send, if she so desire....a small stack of handmade thank you notes should accompany the gift. It's a nice, polite gesture and a gentle nudge to the next generation, that very much needs reminding, that proper etiquette never goes out of style ;)